After hearing your description, I feel like the best way to deal with your pain is on another level.

In your detailed description, you describe your broken dreams and I feel that these broken dreams are now the cause of the increasing complexity of your external symptoms.

By learning to dream again, especially using your imagination, creativity, and passion for life, you can rebuild your body from the inside out.

Your dreams directly affect the plane of your energy body, in which your physical body grows.

Every cell in your body changes: some change daily, some change weekly; so almost every cell in your body changes at least every seven years. Every cell in your body grows in the electromagnetic field or energy blueprint that you have created for your body through your dreams, visualizations, passion, and desire.

When you dream, you connect your consciousness to the universal life force, which flows from your spiritual essence or source of energy outwards.

When you dream, your consciousness is in a place where everything is possible. Therefore, forget about your current reality and go into your heart and learn to dream your dreams as if everything were possible.

It is like working in a plant, at the level of the sap. The clear and colorless sap is what forms the hard stem, the soft leaves and the beautiful flower. It is your spiritual essence, your dreams, your own image and your self-love, which creates your energetic model, in which your physical body grows.

Therefore, turn your attention away from your pain and focus on your spiritual essence, creating in your mind’s eye beautiful dreams and experiences that will bring you great joy and happiness.

You still have the ability to have beautiful music in your life. It may be that your energy has to flow in a different way, perhaps teaching others to become your fingers and your ears.

When teaching others, your dreams can be realized by combining them with those of other people who are actually part of you. Give yourself the freedom to dream the wildest and most unlikely dreams, knowing that you have the divine alchemy to create them as Part of All That Is.

Please focus your energy on what is still working within your body and use it to allow your music to flow.