If you’re looking for help with your Christian codependency, this article will help by giving you four things you need to do to stop triangulating in your relationships. He triangulates when he enters into a dynamic relationship between two other people in an attempt to solve the problem.

Here are some things you can do that are triangulating:

• Hold a grudge or punish someone for what is done to another.
• Speak for someone instead of letting the person speak for themselves.
• Jump into a problem between two people to try to solve it during the actual conflict.
• Appeal to someone on behalf of another person to convince them to think or act in a certain way.

Here are some real life examples:

• Get into an argument between your spouse and child to influence your spouse to handle the conflict in a different way.
• Call your mother to tell her how your sister feels about something.
• Talking to his sister about letting his son do a particular activity because the boy called him and asked him to talk to her.
• Punish your brother-in-law by not including him in your house activities because your brother doesn’t get along with him.

When you enter a relationship between two people, you face additional problems and prevent them from working on your relationship. Proverbs 26:17 says, “As one grabs a dog by the ears, he is a bystander who meddles in a dispute that is not his” (NIV). You can work on your Christian codependency by recognizing that God doesn’t expect you to do for other people what they should do for themselves: speak up for themselves and solve their own relationship problems.