Although most of us believe that an effective communicator is someone who speaks persuasively, mastering the art of listening, a skill anyone can develop but few do, is perhaps the most essential element in oral communications. Listening, by the way, is not the same as hearing. Most of us do not have hearing problems. It is listening to what we hear that we do not always do well.

Since we learn more by listening than by talking, let me share with you 10 quick rules that are sure to make you a smarter and better listener.

Listening continues in all kinds of settings. The most common is perhaps our daily one-on-one conversations with spouses, friends, family members, and co-workers. Those cases are quickly followed by what we hear while watching television. In truth, we hear words almost everywhere we go. However, we don’t always listen, and we rarely listen well. While the sources of the words we hear will vary, the rules for hearing better remain essentially the same.

In many cases there can be barriers to good hearing, distractions if you prefer… Some are physical, like lack of sleep or loss of hearing. Others can be environmental, including noise, temperature, uncomfortable seats, and even poor room acoustics.

The 10 rules that follow apply regardless of such barriers. Most of them, actually eight out of 10, apply to the listening process. The last two apply to what happens after the listening has taken place. Try these rules. You will be pleasantly surprised at how much, and how quickly, they can improve your listening skills.

1. Whenever possible, take control of your listening environment.

2. Despite distractions, stay focused on what is being said.

3. Focus on the “big idea” from the start.

4. Determine what that central idea means to you.

5. Ignore any speaker eccentricity or delivery errors.

6. Listen “in between words” for attitude, tone, and level of conviction.

7. Focus on what is being said rather than how you are tempted to respond.

8. Take careful and organized notes, even if they are just mental notes.

9. Mentally summarize what has been said, what its impact is or could be.

10. Judge the message only after you fully understand it.

The value of improving your listening skills is that you will hear what is actually being said. No, not just the words, but the meanings behind them, their implications, their intent. Once you can identify the meaning, implications, and intentions of what you hear, your life at work, home, and at play will be that much more rewarding. And you will be a much more intelligent and effective total communicator.