“Dad, wake up! It’s time to get up!” I woke up to a small hand shaking my shoulder. “I’m hungry for pancakes,” my five-year-old said. “I want a stack of pancakes!” My son has had another one of his growth spurts. He normally orders a pancake, but this time it’s a “stack”.

I stumbled into the kitchen, ground some freshly brewed coffee beans, filled the chamber of the pot with water, and got an aromatic drip. I mixed some dry ingredients with water, added a mashed ripe banana and some vanilla. Within minutes she had several pancakes ready and an eager son at the table. When I flipped a couple over on his plate, he said, “I can cut them myself, Dad.” He seemed very proud of his striving for newfound independence as he picked up his knife and fork and began to cut. He paused, thought for a moment, then said, “I really can’t do it with two pancakes.”

I finished cutting his pancakes for him and sat down to enjoy my coffee while he ate. I was getting ready to write my (almost) daily blog post and since I’m always looking for inspiration, I knew there had to be a story and analogy here in the morning stack of pancakes somewhere. Various things started to come to my mind, so I sat down with my laptop while my son ate and came up with the following principles. Call them “The Pancake Principles” if you want, but be amazed at how we can learn some important life lessons from a stack of pancakes!

When it comes to stacks of pancakes, our eyes are always bigger than our stomachs. My son was only able to eat half the stack. He really wanted the whole stack, but when the time came, he really couldn’t finish what he started. When it comes to life and what I want to achieve, I usually want to digest more than I can handle. I often think I have more time than I really do, enough money when it will cost more, or more energy than I can sustain for a marathon project. If I keep doing that, I will never reach the goal. The side effect of that is a feeling of failure. I have that “I never get anything” feeling.

I am learning to break my goals into smaller parts so that the goals can be successfully achieved. I used to work on bigger tasks and get overwhelmed when all the smaller parts involved would blow up in my face. I called them obstacles because they were holding me back. Now when I break things down and think about the parts, I can see those “obstacles” as elements of the project and can plan for them. When I do this things go so much better and without indigestion!

Instant isn’t always best. In pancake mixes, the “just add water” kind is usually easy to make, but it never tastes as good as the “made from scratch” kind where you add fluffy egg whites, add real buttermilk, etc. How often do I choose ready-made solutions in life and relationships rather than taking the extra time to design and tailor things to fit the exact needs of my coworkers, family, and myself in my personal life? ? I’m learning to slow down and take the extra time to pay attention to detail so I have a sense of satisfaction knowing I’ve gone the extra mile. This sends the message to my family, friends and colleagues that they matter and that everyone ends up a winner!

If you worry, the pancakes can burn. How many times have I made my son the first pancake and then poured the batter for the next one into the hot pan, only to get caught up in his butter, syrup, cut and pour milk? In the middle of the distraction, I smell something starting to burn and find the first side of my pancake a chocolate brown color. I worry at work and things can sit on the fire too long and start to burn. I can think of a project at home, trying to work it out in my mind until it’s perfect and it never gets off the ground, or takes too long. If we stray from the path of goals, focusing on the secondary things (or striving for an unattainable standard of perfection) can cause the main things to start “burning in the pan.” Let’s try to stop getting caught up in that cycle.

Pancakes taste better when you add fun stuff to the batter. I like to add applesauce to my batter. Sometimes I add a very ripe banana, a little vanilla and salt. I personally don’t like it, but some people like chocolate chips. My wife has a waffle recipe that has part of a can of pumpkin and pumpkin pie seasoning. it’s very satisfying. At some point she tries to live life the way you would animate some pancakes. What could you do in a relationship or task that would be the equivalent of adding chopped walnuts to banana pancakes or chunks of peaches and walnuts to buttermilk? I saw a recipe for New Orleans Style Praline Pancakes the other day that would transfer to an interesting work ethic or relationship building with a spouse or the kids! The sky is the limit and I guarantee that everything will be much more fun.

When it comes to cutting piles, kids may think they can, but they need guidance to learn how to do it. I was happy to see that my son had the confidence to try cutting his own food. Do you know how long we have been cutting his food into small pieces? This was a milestone for me! But when he said he really couldn’t do it with two pancakes, he should have helped him. Instead, I took the utensils and did it for him. I had the confidence to try, but I didn’t follow through. It was just faster to do it for him. If possible, we should help our children (and adults) to “cut the stack of pancakes” instead of doing it for them because it’s faster. I have become more aware that time is a commodity that children often have in abundance. Why not let them use it to make something themselves, even if we have to put up with watching it take 5 times what it would take us to do it?

Ok, I could go on, but I’ll stop. I think you get the point. I hope your next lazy Saturday morning is a good one. Take some time to reflect on your relationships with your children, co-workers, partner, and friends. Find out where you stand with these “Pancake Principles”. And while you’re at it, come up with an exotic pancake combination and share it with someone special.